The Land of Inefficency

Korea's motto is "the land of morning calm".

I have a better one- the land of inefficiency.  If you want something done and you want it done inefficiently, this is the place to come.

Inefficiency #1:

Our apartment in Daegu is a prime example of inefficiency run rapid. Buildings are erected very quickly with little to no regard given to safety or function.  In our apartment our heating bill was outrageous because we couldn't close the window. Why? I'll tell you why. The wiring, cables and gas pipes all came in through the window. The drainage system for the air conditioner went out the window.

Inefficiency #2: Toilet Plunger

I didn't even think to include toilets on my list. Most of the ones over here can't handle more than one square of 2-ply, much less anything that comes out of your body. So, plungers are an extra vital necessity. Yes, I'm aware that's redundant. That's how necessary they are.

The first plunger I purchased over here was utterly useless. I don't even think it could be re-commissioned as a doorstop.  When you applied any amount of pressure on the plunger, the rubber part would flip itself inside out. Useless, right?

Inefficiency #3: Spatula

I used a spatula to flip a pancake and it melted. Enough said.

Inefficiency #4: The Mini-broom

Mine literally only comes up to my knee. Some are shorter than that.

It's been explained that these brooms came about because a family's living quarters used to be so small that they basically only needed something slightly bigger than a duster to clean with. That was then. This is now. Korea, welcome to 2014.

I've only seen one originally full-sized broom in this country and for several months I was the proud owner. Unfortunately, we couldn't bring it on the bus when we moved. I haven't seen one since.

I say "originally" because I once saw a man who modified his mini-broom by attaching some type of piping to the handle to make it longer. That man should be president. He can break the bonds of mini-broomdom.

My school has two  full sized mops and about eight mini-brooms for us to clean the school with. It's ridiculous. I'm considering gifting the school a set of full-sized brooms when I go home. Leave a legacy and all that.

Inefficiency #5: Washing Machine Draining System

My washing machine requires it's own room because when it finishes the cycle it empties  it's bladder on to the floor. The water goes down a drain in the center of the room. Nothing else can go in the room or it will also get soaked. Similarly, the window in the room must stay open or the floor won't dry,  as their is no ventilation fan.  Even when it is snowing outside.

Inefficiency #6: The Fresh Air Mindset

We can run the heat in the winter or the AC in the summer but as soon as it's turned on we must open the door. We need to let fresh air into the building when they're running. So basically, I'm heating/cooling the sidewalk.

Inefficiency #7: Eraserless pencils

This is a personal pet peeve for me as I've been duped by these things more times than I can count. I think it's a money making scheme. Why sell you a pencil with an eraser when I can sell you a pencil and then an eraser? Most pencils don't have erasers, some just have wooden ends and you can obviously tell the eraser is missing. Some, however, are topped with these things (metal, possibly) that are painted to look like erasers but have no actual erasing capability. Instead, they grate against your paper and make the nails on the chalkboard sound.

ARGH!

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Midnight Madness Abounds or the Curious Case of the "American Snowman"

A little before midnight, my husband and I decided we would sneak outside and build a big snowman in front of my school for the children to enjoy. Once outside we discovered that the snow was very light and wouldn't pack enough to make a snowball, much less an entire man.

So we thought about it and decided to make a big mound of snow and then shape it into a snowman, An hour later, we had a four foot mound of snow, starting with a wide base and tapering off to a head. We plucked a carefully carved carrot into make a nose and decorated the rest of the features with black stones. For finishing touches, we tied an old sweater around the "shoulders" and topped it off with a paper birthday hat from my work party.  We were excited and happy with our creation.

When I walked into work the next afternoon, my boss gestured to the snowman and declared that she know my husband made it because it was "American style". I asked what she meant.

"A Korean snowman is made of two big balls and has a black hat."

I explained the problem with the snow not packing and how we cleverly maneuvered around the problem. As for the hat? It was the only one I had. She smiled as nodded as she usually does when I am speaking.

As each student, parent and bus driver arrived they asked about the snowman's lack of a defined body or black hat.  I fumed silently as each student was given the explanation that the snowman was "American style".

After about the 10th explanation, a light bulb went off. Unwittingly,  my boss was actually giving me a compliment. 

The sameness culture pervades South Korea. Everyone does everything the same way and if you don't you are questioned and asked to explain yourself. Sometimes, this place reminds me of a scene from A Wrinkle in Time, where upon arriving on a new planet, Meg and Charles notice that each is  identical and that in each driveway is an identically dressed child bouncing a ball to the same rhythm. Each Korean snowman probably DOES have exactly two balls and is topped off with the same, Lottemart bought, black hat.

My snowman, however, is American. In the face of a challenge, my husband and I rose above by putting our American ingenuity to use.

We thought creatively.

We overcame.

We built a snowman, despite all odds.

 

You, Mr. Korean Snowman, would have given up when you realized you couldn't make proper snowballs or didn't have the requisite black hat.

 

But not us, the Americans. We thought for ourselves. And we persevered. Long live American ingenuity!

 

 

Meet Gene. He's visiting from America.

 

 

  

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Ramblings From A Peson Locked in a Hospital

Yesterday I was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. I'm having a ball, let me tell you.

I turned off the heat in my room because it was smoking hot and now every nurse asks me if I'm cold.

They have communal shower shoes....doesn't that defeat the purpose of shower shoes?

Mike had to run out and get soap for my bathroom.

Today I had to go down to the 2nd floor for a CT scan. As I'm slipping on my sneakers the nurse freaks out and insists I wear the shower shoes. Never mind that they are made for Bigfoot and I have the feet of Thumbelina. And I lose a shoe before we're even out of the room and trip over them again in the hallway. Yeah, these are definitely safer.

More later, I'm sure.

Oh, and they woke me up before sunrise to get my IV started for the day. I was thrilled. Still am, can't you tell? 01 02 12

Korean House Warming Party

I teach a group of women on Wednesday nights. One of the class members recently moved to a new apartment so last night we held our class there as sort of a housewarming party.

I entered the apartment to a chorus of welcomes and a strange whacking noise.

I peered around the refrigerator to find one of my students whacking away at a live octopus.

"Come here. Come look", she beckoned me. Another octopus sat in a Styrofoam cooler filled with water. She picked it up, straightened it's tentacles and studied my face as I watched the tentacles dance.

The table was set with fried chicken, bread, shrimp, salad, Korean "cookies" and octopus three ways. We could choose from boiled octopus head, boiled tentacles or raw, still squirming bits and bobs of octopus. Having had my fill of octopus many years ago, during my first trip to Korea, I focused this time on the chicken, shrimp and salad. Both were delicious.

However, everyone was extremely worried about me going hungry since I was not partaking in the octopus.  After I explained my issue with the texture, one of my students said , "That's okay. Just pretend it's gum that is very good for your health. Chew it and just think 'good for my health, good for my health'" .

We ate and chatted...mostly about the new apartment and out host's endeavor to sew curtains and an air conditioner cover.  What's this you ask?

Most of Korea doesn't have central air so home owners and renters but these huge standing air units. Our hosts came in a bright purple and occupied the corner opposite the big screen TV.

Overall we had a good night and laughed a lot during our study (as usual). 01 02 12

Moving to Mokpo: Another Example of God's Grace

We recently relocated to Mokpo. It is a much smaller city than where we were before. There are a lot more parks and places to enjoy nature. There's a hill by our apartment with a nature trail as well as plenty of bike paths and places to explore. I really like it here.                           


Getting here was a bit of a different story. About a week in advance we bought bus tickets for a 3 hour bus ride.

When we brought our suitcases down from our third floor apartment, we realized that an apartment on the second floor was flooding with sewage. It was cascading down the stairs!

We had to physically carry the suitcases down the stairs and try to avoid the sewage waterfall.  Yuck!

We had a lot of suitcases and a small cooler with perishables so we had to take two taxis. My husband took 2 suitcases and I took the other 5. We showed our taxi driver the bus tickets, which say the name of the terminal at the top and repeated the phrase "We want to go to the bus terminal" that we studied. My taxi driver nodded, and repeated bus terminal-ok.

So, we take off. And my taxi takes me to the train station and keeps repeating bus terminal and insisting we are there.  Fortunately, I know that we are only about 10 blocks from the bus terminal so I give him the last of my cash. Unfortunately, I have 5 huge suitcases to take with me.

I started praying. I knew we had an hour before our bus left. Surely, I could make it in an hour. So, I started walking.  And kept praying. I walked with 2 suitcases until I could just barely see the others, went back for them and kept repeating the process.

2 construction workers stopped and asked me in perfect English if they could help me. They carried my suitcases about 3-4 blocks, to a major intersection.

I started wheeling two bags across the intersection when a random German man and his Korean girlfriend appeared. They each wheeled a suitcase across with me. That left one suitcase on the other side of the street. As I stood watching it a small group of school children appeared.

"Is this yours?" They yelled across the lanes of traffic. I shouted back that it was and they formed a little ring around my suitcase. When they light changed they took off running and met me in the middle of the large intersection.

I crossed another small street. I could see the bus terminal and I could see my husband frantically pacing around. I knew he was worried. We don't have cell phones here so he couldn't call to check on me.

I screamed and hollered his name. I jumped up and down. I waved my arms.

Nothing.

So, I started walking, still about 4 blocks away. After 1 trip with the suitcases I shouted his name again. Nothing. And then the idea came to me.

And so I shouted my name.

Instantly he turned and saw me at the top of the hill. He came and we carried the suitcases down together. We still had 25-30 minutes before our bus left.

Halleluiah!

So, long story short, we are here and happy to be here.

Here are some pictures of our new place:

our apartment...we've since upgraded to a full size fridge and a trundle bed

 the park a few blocks away

the view from the top of the hill

 

hiking a small mountain

out and about

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Meal Planning in the New Apartment

Back in the States I was a big meal planner. I made a monthly plan and did a big grocery shop. I'd run to the store as needed for fresh produce, dairy and bread. I love finding and trying new recipes. I was subscribed to several different recipe magazines, including Taste of Home and Rachael Ray. Also, we were big on leftovers. I would make a big dish of something and we would eat it for lunches the following days.

Meal planning in Korea is very different. It often involves trying to find something interesting to make using the same old ingredients: chicken, pork, rice, pasta, tuna, potatoes, corn and carrots. Yeah. Oh, and we eat a big lunch and small dinner because we work 2pm-9/10.

Last week we moved to a new job and with it a new apartment. The apartment is very tiny and it's kitchen consists of one burner, sink and a mini-fridge.  The mini-fridge is a challenge as it doesn't allow much space for leftovers.

We did a "big" grocery shop at Homeplus yesterday and here are the meals that are in our near future.

Tonight: Taco Pork Chili

Sunday lunch: Hotdogs with Baked Beans and Fried Potatoes (I am excited for this one as we were able to purchase American brand hotdogs as well as buns at the store. It's the first time I've seen buns for sale in Korea)

Sunday Dinner: Samgypsal Spaghetti (samgypsal is a cut similar to bacon and is very popular here)

Monday/Tuesday lunch: Pork and Beans or Hawaiian Pork (Hubby wants one, I want the other. He'll probably win)

Tuesday/Wednesday lunch: Curry Chicken and Rice

Wednesday/Thursday lunch: Pancakes, Omelets and Fried Potatoes

And then back to grocery shopping again!

What's on your meal plan this week?


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